Temple Square

 

Our family had a wonderful time at temple square on Sunday evening.  We met my parents and brothers and sisters and their children.  We had a wonderful time.  I love all the lights and the nativities all over the place.  My children are getting old enough to enjoy the displays inside also.  We went a little early and enjoyed them before meeting up with the others.  The whole night was full of fun times and good feelings.

 

Shortly after this picture was taken Rachel started to take off her coat, hat, boots, etc. so she could go swimming in the fountain.  It was freezing cold.  Does she have any heat/cold sensors in her.  Needless to say we carried her away kicking and screaming.  What a funny end to our great Christ centered night.

November

Novermber:--  We had our whole family at our home for Thanksgiving.  It was wonderful.  We had a great three days full of fun family, and good food.  Derrek did a family photo shoot for everyone and his mom took the large family picture.  It was so fun.  This is my favorite from our family (thanks Mir for shooting).  My SIL found this great place where we had so much fun taking pictures. My father turned 60 years old this year and we were able to surprise him with a temple session and dinner.  We love him so much.  He is a great grandpa and daddy.  Shelby just finished her first trimester in school where she has done fabulously.  Jacob participated in wrestling the past five weeks and loved it.  He won first place at the last tournement.  Rachel is growing everyday.  She is relearning how to sleep through the night.  NOT fun for mom and dad but we are praying she figures it out sooner than later.  Also  Joshua's headstone was placed this past Monday.  It makes me happy.  Everything I can do for him in this life is done the very best that I could.  He will forever be our angel.  We are going to puchase gifts for a boy who is smiliar in age in our area in his name for Christmas.  This will be healing for my children and for me.  I love giving gifts.  We are so grateful for our lives and blessings during this Thanksgiving season. 

Family- Nov 2009

Joshua's headstone

Halloween Happenings

Our family had a great time at Halloween.  Derrek was very ill.  The Flu attacked him on his trip home from Hawaii.  The rest of us had a great time.  On the 30th we had a carnival at the school.  I took pictures that night for everyone because Derrek had volunteered to do this.  I actually enjoyed it.  On actual Halloween we had someone come look at our home and we went for a drive.  Jacob had a wrestling meet in the morning and Shelby Derrek and Rachel stayed home.  Here are some pictures from our adventures.   Rachel loved being our Tinker Bell, Jacob was Darth Vader and Shelby was a beautiful princess with a cape (thank you DI for making my daughter happy)

 

Grateful thing #5

Things learned through trials

Our trials are given to us to learn and grow.  We all have our fair share.  Though many times I have felt I was getting my unfair share of trials, we each are given what we need to return to our Heavenly Father. Some of our trials are because of our own ignorance or choices, some of them come out of circumstances beyond our control and some trials come because others are unkind or disobedient to the commandments of God. I know God loves each of his children and wants us to return to live with him.  I wrote this acrostic poem in a meeting last weekend.  I have never claimed to be a writer.  But here is my weak attempt at  a poem

Testimony Strengthened
Relationship with our Savior
Individual
Atonement of our Savior for our Benefit with
Loving arms of our Father in Heaven and our Savior

Music

Thankful thing #4

Music

"yea the song of the rightous is a prayer unto me, and it shall be answered with a blessing upon thier heads"  I love music.  I love listening to and singing with all types of music.  There is nothing that helps me relax or feel better about the world than music.  When I was a little girl I loved listening to my dad play the piano late at night and falling to sleep to the sweet music he played.  Occasionally my mom would sing with him and I felt like all was right in the world.  Each of my children have a song that was helpful to me shortly after they were born or right before they were born.  Shelby's is This is the time to Remember by Billy Joel, Jacob's is Inoccent Man by Billy Joel, Rachel's is The Riddle by Five for Fighting and Joshua's song is The Book of Love by Peter Gabriel.  Derrek's song is You're my Home by Billy Joel.   My current favorites are : The Heart of Life by John Mayer, Held by Natile Grant, Come thou Fount of Every Blessing by (whoever is singing it or playing it), Supergirl by Hannah Montana (I love to watch Shelby and Rachel dance to this.  Rachel is always saying she is Super), Simple Gifts, Jesus Love is like a river, All things bright and Beautiful, Solsibury Hill by Peter Gabriel,Little Bird by Peter Brienholt.  and many many more.  In the Forgotten Carols John the main character says to Connie something to the effect of  The music we love is the music that is closest to things in our heart. 

Pictures from our Walk to Remember our Sweet Joshua:

Hope Collage

Thankful thing #3

Hope

I am grateful for hope. The church website (www.lds.org) has a link to finding hope right now on the main page. Hope and Faith go hand in hand.. One of the angel moms I found does hope collages for families with angel babies. Here is the hope collage she did for Joshua

Gratitude

Thankful Thing #2

Living prophets and the Church of Jesus Christ of Later-day Saints. I am excited to listen to conference the next two days. I will be listening for things to help me. Some of my favorite talks I have reread lately are Tender Mercies of the Lord by Elder Bednar, The Temple talk by Elder Stephensen (Derrek's former boss), Hope you know I had a hard time by Quiten L. Cook and I just came accross this quote and remember the talk by Elder Wirthlin from last conference.
Elder Wirthlin said at this last General Conference, "The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude."

This and that

I have seen others do thankful posts with daily adages and things they are thankful for. I do not have time to daily add to this blog but I want to post things I am thankful for.

1. Fall time ( I love the smells of the leaves, the harvest time, and the changing weather. School starting and my birthday are two other great reasons I love the fall)

Our family has enjoyed some wonderful weekends over the past two weeks. Our house is clean and spotless because it is on the market to sale and so we have had time to play. On the 18th of September we took the two big kids and went to Lagoon. WE giggled and laughed and had a great time at Derrek's work party. Icon Employees were the only ones allowed in the park and so we could hop from ride to ride to ride. It was great fun.

Last weekend we took a great quick trip to Jackson Hole, and Yellowstone . Of course we left in such a hurry to make it to the Bar J that we forgot the camera. The colors were beautiful and the air was crisp and perfect. The park was free to visit and we had a great time as a family. There also was a forest fire which caused a huge delay in our getting home but we enjoyed our time as a family.

Shelby has loved Intermediate school. I could not have asked for a better start to her year. She is so very happy which makes our home very happy. The friends she has made are some of my friend I work with children so that makes it even more enjoyable. I have my baby back. My confidant happy kind smart baby back. The rude girls who have been a thorn in her backside all of third, fourth and fifth grade are gone from her view. Yeah for Shelby.

Jacob is Jacob. He loves to help and make everyone happy. He is always quick to notice the needs of others. (as long as the TV and Wii are out of sight.) He has struggled some with the loss of our Joshua but is leaning about the plan of salvation and finding peace and understanding.

Rachel has learned how to get out of her bed. AHHHHHH. She has always slept well and now well she can get out and so she does. Oh well. She will learn. It just takes some time and a lot of patience.

Joshua has been gone for two months now and we are doing really well. We miss the things we planned to do with him and for him but know that he is being obedient to our Heavenly Father's will.

We are extremely blessed to be here living our lives right now. May God bless everyone who reads this and may they be blessed as we have been.

Talents

Last night Shelby and I went to the Peach Queen Pageant in association with Peach Days. This is a scholarship/ beauty pageant. I was thinking quite extensively about the talent portion as two of the young ladies did unconventional talent spots. One of them decorated a cake and the other did a sewing demonstration. I never wanted to participate in the contest for many reasons but one was because I never considered myself talented enough. I had no showy musical or dance talent. As I was watching I was listing talents that I am aware of now. We all have so much to offer the world we can not all be master musicians or in the "limelight" of Hollywood, but each of us can lift and build our fellow men by doing the things we have been blessed to enjoy doing.

Smallest Wingless Live (1.6.07) Video by Craig Cardiff - MySpace Video

This is a beautiful song that speaks to my soul. It was written for the Now I lay Me down to Sleep group of photographers who donate their time to take pictures of babies and families. Smallest Wingless Live (1.6.07) Video by Craig Cardiff - MySpace Video

Shared via AddThis

Climbing gym

Last Saturday we finally took Jacob to his birthday Dinner. We went to Chili's after we put our house up for sale. Then we went rock climbing. Rachel has been watching video's of people rock climbing and of course she wanted a turn. I have a dare devil for a daughter. I have finally arrived at a point where Jacob's climbing and stunts don't scare me but Rachel had my heart stopped. She has no fear. Here are some pictures.
My little one with no fear (I had plenty of fear for the both of us)When asked if she was ready to come back down she would say "My climbing" and point up.

In perfect form. Derrek and I wish we were that flexible.

Shelby tolerates and participates with a smile.
Jacob reaching over an outcropping.(I think that is what they are called)

Nice People

Everywhere in the world there are very nice wonderful people. I have always loved the song Angels Among them by Alabama. I truly believe the words
"Oh I believe there are angels among us.
Sent down to us from somewhere up above.
They come to you and me in our darkest hours.
To show us how to live, to teach us how to give.
To guide us with a light of love."
People have been so kind and wonderful to our family. The love and outpouring of kindnesses even from those we do not know has been tremendous. One of these such people has a service she provides in memory of her angel. She planted a flower in memory of our Joshua and made a beautiful picture with a flower. I think it is beautiful. Here is the link to her blog http://onlysayitwithflowers.blogspot.com/2009/08/rorys-garden-part-6.html Joshua's flower is toward the bottom. It has yellow flower petals and hands. If you click on it it will appear below. Many of you have also been angels in my life. I appreciate the love and support you have given to me.

Jacob

All about Rowland Jacob -- Jacob turned 9 years old. He is such a wonderful son. He has a way of saying what my heart is feeling right now. We love having him in our home. He brings a lot of joy to everyone. He is our "lets read our scriptures"," lets have prayer reminder". I think I was given children to keep me on my toes.

10 things we love about Jacob

1. His honest candid way of speaking what is on his mind.
2. His genuine treatment of everyone.
3. His love of everything outdoors- climbing, running, jumping, swinging, swimming, fishing, riding bikes/scooters, chasing anyone or thing.
4. His love of family especially his sisters.
5. His love of games.
6. His gentle encouragement for everyone. He has such a tender heart though he would like you all to think he is tough.
7. His need for justice and fairness in the world
8. His dimples (Derrek says they are not cute but I love my two boys dimples)
9. His chocolate chip brown eyes that show exactly what emotion he is feeling.
10. His love of the gospel and his simple faith.

Rain

When Derrek was leaving for Iraq he gave me a book called "Women of Destiny" by many various authors. It is a compilation of articles that describe the Relief Society theme. I started reading it immediately because I needed peace in my life. I found a quote that I loved and it hung on my fridge until Derrek returned a year and a half later. It reads:

"We are learning that sometimes the Savior calms the storm.
Sometimes he lets the storm rage, and he clams us." Carol B. Thomas

Fast forward to now. It is going back up on the fridge today. A group of singers put together songs to go with this book and the theme. One of my favorites from this CD is called "Sometimes he lets it Rain" by Kathrine Nelson It is a beautiful song that I related to at the time and now again here are the lyrics

She sees the storm clouds gather
The sky is turning cold and gray
She knows that somethings coming
when she starts to feel this way

She pleads for intervention
But heaven offers no relief
she would understand if she could only see

Sometimes He lets it rain
He lets the fierce winds blow
Sometimes it takes a storm
to lead a heart where it can grow

He can move mountains of grief
and oceans of pain.
But sometimes he lets it rain.

When her heart surrenders
to the master in control
Her spirit learns the lessons
and the tempest in her soul

when it's no longer raging
She can see how far she's come
through the wisdom and
the mercy of the son

Sometimes He lets it rain
He lets the fierce winds blow
Sometimes it takes a storm to
lead a heart where it can grow

he can move mountains of grief
and oceans of pain
but sometimes He lets it rain.

There is no joy without the pain
Sometimes He has to let it rain.


So I guess we let it rain again.

Today

I just wanted to post a new update. Derrek and I are doing really well. Our children have had a great time with cousins and aunts and uncles. We miss them when they are gone however, it helps them have fun and we have time to heal. We have had great neighbors and friends. We have had great food and great goodies constantly. I am still physically weak and am very ready for that part to be over it makes me feel fragile, something I have never considered myself to be. I am amazed daily at the love of everyone and especially our Savior. We could not make it through without the Comfort and Peace of the gospel. Again I am sure we have a long way to go with our grief but I feel we are on the right path to healing. It is good to see the sun everyday and to have my Rachel running around laughing and giggling daily. It is also good to have my Derrek in my life. My family and my faith are the balm to my broken heart.

Joshua

This week has been one of the most unique weeks of our life. I feel as though I have been on a roller coaster all week. Derrek and I have been to the deepest sorrows and despair and to contrast we have had one of the spiritual and most sacred experiences of our lives. All in all we are doing much better than I had expected at this point in the game. We have felt the prayers of everyone on our behalf and they have lifted us and built us. We have felt the calming peace of our Savior's loving arms and the comforting peace of the Holy Ghost. I am sure we will have some trying days ahead but I am confident that we will continue to have the sweet peace of the spirit with us.

We named our baby boy Joshua Derrek Williams. He was born on July 28, 2009 at 11:23p.m. He weighed 5 lbs 4 oz. and was 18 inches long. He looked exactly like our other babies with chubby cheeks, a button nose, and sweet small mouth. He was perfectly formed just no heartbeat. We had perfect nurses at the hospital who helped guide us through many decisions and through the delivery. We appreciate the group of women who came from Utah Share to do a photo shot and take molds of his hands and feet. I don't know if we will use them a lot but we wanted a choice. We chose to bury Joshua in the infant area at the Brigham City Cemetery on Friday. I am grateful for the restored gospel and the advice of our bishop and other leaders. We truly have been blessed during our time of trial. Thank you again for your prayers.

Prayers please

We as a family need your prayers. There are too many questions and not enough answers. Our little boy will be stillborn today. Our hearts are aching and we will come home from the hospital empty. Right now prayers and names in temples is the best way you can help. Our sweet Shelby and Jacob are really struggling as we are also. I know my Heavenly Father loves us all. He is aware of even the sparrow and he will take care of me and my little family.

Reunions

Tis the season of reunions. We have enjoyed spending time with family at reunions. Our first reunion was with Derrek's extended family for his Grandma and Grandpa Clayson's 100th birthday celebration. (of course they were not there but a lot of fun anyway) We then had the Andrus family reunion followed by my large Rushton Family reunion. Shelby and Jacob are growing up so much. They are very obedient and helpful. These are just a few of the pictures of some of the fun.

Happy Anniversary

Thirteen years ago today Derrek and I were married in the Logan Temple. I am so grateful for this day. We were able to take the weekend to go to Manti to the temple and a little bed and breakfast. It was so relaxing and enjoyable. (Thank you Grandmas and Grandpa's) I have been reflecting all weekend on my wonderful husband and the wonderful 13 years we have shared together. Here is my little list of the things I am most grateful for in our marriage
1. Families Can be together Forever-- I find comfort in this song/statement I enjoy spending time with my husband and children and find my greatest happiness in them
2. I get to be married to my best friend. It is so nice to talk to him daily about whatever. It is one of the things I missed the most during his absence.
3. I get to share my children 's triumphs and tragedies with someone who cares about them as much as I do.
4. I have a supportive husband who tries to help me be better today than I was yesterday. When I make mistakes he is there to let me know I am OK and we will be better tomorrow.
5. We truly work as a team to make our family better. We make decisions together and take the credit or the fall for all decisions equally.
6. Every night I have someone to visit with and be there for me and with me.
7. We can dream and plan and prepare together. It is fun to have goals and aspirations.


That is all for now. I hope we have many many more years of happiness. I love being married to Derrek. He makes all things better for me. I am grateful for the deployment when he was gone. It strengthened our resolve to be together and it helped me not be critical of little things. Every day I am so glad to have my husband walk through the door. Late or not I am just glad to have him in our house. Happy Anniversary Derrek-- You're my home forever.

June Happenings

The Hill Air Force Air Show Practice on Friday June 5,2009. My Dad got us all into the show on the day before because he is part of the medical personal. We had a lot of fun. I was not feeling well. But Shelby, Jacob, Rachel, Shannon, Cohen, Robert, Luke, Kate, Grandma and Grandpa had a great time.

We had tickets to the REAL Soccer game that we had purchased a while ago. Shelby was going to be gone on her cruise so we invited Richie to come with us. When we got there Carson was there also so we swapped Rachel and Carson and took the three boys. They were a lot of fun. It was sort of cold especially for June in Utah. We had a great time. Richie stayed with us until Monday. He and Jacob play really well together.

Kelsy, Jeff and Aubree were here for a brief visit for Jeff's aunt's funeral and so Derrek took Aubree and Jacob climbing on a wall here in Brigham City. Jacob and Derrek have enjoyed having real rock close to climb on. They have had to put in anchors etc to make it usable but they have loved doing it. All the hands off pictures Jacob takes are for my purposes only. He loves to show me how brave and skilled he is getting. It just stresses me out. But Derrek assures me all is safe.

Grandma Andrus and New Niece Chloe. Isn't she adorable. Rich and Mir were here quick for a wedding we got together and had a lot of fun. We love our family. Rachel and Zach especially enjoyed each other. They played together so cute.

Derrek was asked to do a patriotic ceremony for a group of boys at Priesthood training camp for my Dad. He chose to do a roll call "solider's cross" It is very powerful and he was able to dedicate it to his friend who did not get to come home from Iraq. These opportunities are good for him to serve others through his military service.

Father's Day was a wonderful day for our family. We love the Daddy of our family. The children do a great job making things for Derrek and then disguising the presents with blankets for a great surprise for him. Derrek has wanted a basic photography studio for quite a while. We picked one out over a year ago that had lights, stands and muslin's for a realativly decent price. I would rather have the gear and do pictures when I want rather than pay the local place a mint every six months. We have been saving our pennies ever since. Of course many other things have come up that have taken the saved amount and then we have had to start over, but I got some extra $ for a project I did at school this year and it was perfect timing for Father's day. After we celebrated at our house we went to his parents for dinner and fun.

Gpa Wms. and available grand kids on Father's day

Some of Derrek's lights-- He played with them for a bit in our house.

Derrek's Grandma Clayson

The past three weeks since school has been out have been an adventure. I am attempting to organize my home and prepare for a new little one. (Not my best talent or quality) I also just finished typing Derrek's Grandma Clayson's autobiography. She wrote the words and I just typed from her copy. It has taken the bulk of my time for the past two weeks and I am finally finished. It is 82 pages long. AHHH. I have felt the spirit and grown closer to Afton and Emery Clayson. They were humble, great people. I am glad to be a part of their family. I have been more appreciative of my modern conveniences as I have typed about wash day and the stove Afton cooked on and the amount of electricity she had access to as a newly wed in the middle of nowhere Nevada. She loved each member of her family with a deep love that is felt through her words. I was privledged to know her during her last five years on this earth. I have appreciated her insight into life. Well I will post more about my own family soon. As I have typed I have enjoyed listening to my children play together. The happiest sound inthe world is my three children laughing and playing together. They are delightful. They all have their own unique talents that blend together so well to make our family fun.

Last day of School

Today was Shelby's last day of Elementary School. As I picked her up from her last day I reflected on the many wonderful years she has spent with great teachers and people at the school. I cried when I dropped her off the first day of Kindergarten and I cried when I dropped her off at home today after school was over. How can my baby be so big?? She is such an angel and a great helper. I would be very lost as a mom without her. She got two awards at the assembly yesterday -- Her first was the top 10% in Science in the nation and the second was a Physical Fitness award. Jacob also received the Physical Fitness award for his age group. It was also my last day teaching this year. I have had a wonderful year. It has had challenges as I switched to 2 1/2 day kindergartens instead of full day kindergarten, however it was enjoyable and very relaxing as I had many parent volunteers. I am looking forward to our summer together. Fun, Family and friends. YEAH

Mics. May

Derrek and his Dad at the Memorial Day service in Brigham City. This was Derrek's first year participating with the VFW. It was really a great experience. I cried in my heart out as many memories of our 1 1/2 years apart were brought back to my mind. I am grateful for the time we served as many blessings have come from it however, I can't say I would like to do it again. Time will only tell.

The next pictures are of Shelby and Jacob's gymnastics review. They learn routines and then perform them for each of us. Shelby has only taken this year and has come very far. Jacob has taken for two years and is a natural on the bars and rings (he hates the floor exercise,my favorite when I was young). Rachel of course has to get her two cents in as she is sure she is as big as the rest. She is a good sport going here and there and watching the big kids.

Jacob on the rings

Shelby on the bar


Shelby, Jacob, Derrek and Dallon were able to go rock climbing before Dallon left and they had a great time. Jacob has no fear of the rocks and Shelby just likes to be in the Mountains and with the boys. They all had a great time with only minor mishaps.

In the middle of May we finished Soccer season. Derrek was the coach of Jacob's team and Shelby played also. Most of their games this year were at the same time so I did not get to see much of Jake and Derrek didn't get to see much of Shelby.

Rachel watching!!

Shelby was the goalie one quarter every game. This stresses her mother to no end. She however, is very observant and good in this position. She only was scored on two times all season. Her team was great and they enjoyed each other.

Jacob loves to compete and loves to play. It is nice that he is the biggest on his team as his birthday is just after the cut off. This makes playing really fun for him. Derrek is an excellent coach also.